I don't know what to do. Why go to a Fateweaver, why? Sometimes I don't feel this way, sometimes it's reassuring -- but not right now, not when it's so close. I still think that it's a blessing. Talking to that Fateweaver means I can make good on the time I have left.
But how can I tell my family? It's like erasing the smiles from their faces, or... or like killing the joy in their hearts. Why would I do that? So I don't feel guilty about deceiving them? Isn't that just selfish? Is it completely selfish to not tell them, so I don't have to see them upset? But facing this alone, truly, truly alone... I can't do it.